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Persuasion (Spoilers)

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Don’t read this if you plan on reading Jane Austen’s Persuasion. I mean you should read that instead of this because it is perfection.

My heart stopped when I got to that passage in the picture I posted. I stopped reading after that part and started frenetically cleaning my apartment. I was just feeling so much that I had to physically move to get it out of my system. I was so happy for the protagonist Anne at that moment. She’s a beautiful character, someone who’s caring, smart, and so deserving of true love.

Of course this book made me think about myself and the fact that I’m missing a great love like this. Is this kind of love realistic? I don’t know but it is a reminder that I can’t accept lackluster. It is so hard to find a real connection with someone, but I won’t accept anything less. I can’t just tell myself, “Well, he’s a nice guy and he has a good job.” That’s not enough. I want to pierce someone’s soul dammit! And they can pierce mine too.

That has to be out there, right?

I realize a love like this can grow and develop. This kind of passion might be just for the books or movies, but the idea of it can exist in real relationships. A mature love can be something that develops between two committed people who realize their life is better because their partner is in it.

They might not profess their love like Captain Wentworth, but this kind of love can be shown in everyday life. Long-distance relationships where people have to fly through the Earth to be able to share a cup of coffee with each other. The man or woman who on their way home from work, picks up their partner’s favorite meal. The meat eating guy who learns how to cook a delicious meat-free meal for his vegetarian girlfriend. Or the guy who will dress as Jon Snow to your Daenarys Targaryen costume and laugh together about their incestual love for each other. Should I have stopped before that last one?

Anyways, I think the Captain Wentworth passion does exist and I want it. Is that what you want too? Or do you have it already? Tell me what it’s like!

Book Review: Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

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After reading Liane Moriarty’s, The Husband’s Secret, I should have had an idea of what I was getting into. She’s good, she’s pretty damn good.

I heard the hype of the show, which is basically what got me to read this. I’m a fan of chick lit books, but before I discovered my love of reading, I was a tv/movie girl. So in addition to chick lit, I tend to read a lot of books that are turned into movies or shows.

I read the first half of the book at a solid but leisurely pace, however, yesterday I think I was only at the halfway point. I had a couple of long subway rides to read a bit, but then last night from about 9pm to after 2am, I tore through this sucker. I couldn’t stop! I had plans to wake up early, get some errands done, but no, last night as I read, I made new plans for my little errands. Getting a new iPhone was not gonna stop me from finding out what happens in the end. Who needs a phone anyways? I got my kindle!

The women in this book are strong, funny, vulnerable, flawed, and real. I was pulling for all the females in this book (and some of the men). The story is told through the eyes of three women: Madeline, Jane, and Celeste.

Madeline is the spirited one who you’d want as a friend and not an enemy. She is a loyal and protective friend. She has had to overcome some things in her past that she hasn’t yet quite overcome. It shapes her relationships. Jane is the young, innocent one. She has some things to hide in her past, but she can’t escape them. Celeste is described as the beautiful one, but she’s a bit ashamed of her beauty. Celeste is actively hiding something. All of these women are mothers who desperately want the best for their children.

This book review sucks, doesn’t it? “Some things happen and she’s hiding some things, she’s not over some things, and then some stuff happens.” You get it, this book is awesome. It was turned into a hit HBO show, so it’s pretty obvious at this point. It won a bunch of Emmys for god sakes. Why am I writing this review? Watch it already, I mean read it.

Back to my serious review:

This book also has a lot of great peripheral characters. The husbands are of course important characters to the story and there are other women we meet at the school the kids attend. The style of the book flows from the different female perspectives both from the main characters and the peripheral characters as they are interviewed about the mysterious murder that took place. Yes, murder! Did I almost leave that out? Oops. Obviously that’s important too.

Ultimately what I liked about this book, besides the gotta know what happened aspect, is how the author shows these women’s flaws, their disagreements, how easily women can go after each other…but it also shows their strength, and the undeniable bond that women have.

Okay. Tom…Let’s talk about Tom for a bit. I would totally date him! He makes good coffee. Done. What more would I need? He makes muffins and pancakes too. Ohmigod Tom stop! You’re perfect! Where is my Tom?

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Thank You UPS

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I finally went out on a date this past Tuesday. I was looking forward to it, since after all of my texting with the guy, I had a good feeling. Ugh. Every time I get a “good feeling” things don’t pan out. Well, that was the case this time. I liked him, would have gone out again, but there’s not going to be a second date. That’s my dating life.

I was feeling pretty crappy and down in the dumps this week. I thought about this blog- Searching for Humor- and thought, “How the hell will I find the humor in this? This sucks. Nothing funny about it.” My blog is dead. Fun while it lasted. How many first dates can one person go on? Lately, my dating life has become a string of first dates. It’s so frustrating! I’m not sure why. Is it because I’m getting older? 38…ouch. Maybe I’m more unsure of myself lately, I don’t know. So yeah, it’s been a shitty week.

All week I’ve had to suck it up, wake up and go to work. However, since it’s Saturday, this morning I stayed in bed a little longer, hiding under the shield of my blankets, reveling in the chance to ruminate in it.

Finally I forced myself up and as I was ready to walk out my door, I put my headphones on, pressed play on goddamn Ed Sheeran’s “Photograph.” The song of course made me ruminate some more.

“Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul

And it’s the only thing that I know, know I swear it will get easier…”

Fuck you Ed Sheeran! I’m alone, I’m old, and I don’t even have any fucking cats. It’s not getting easier. I’m leaning up against my wall, eyes closed listening to Ed Sheeran thinking about how much my life sucks, having an introspective moment with fucking Ed Sheeran when my buzzer goes off. Geez! I was having a moment. It was helping!

Well, like any paranoid New Yorker, I did not buzz in whoever was at my door. I’m no fool. I knew it was probably some mass murderer or arsonist trying to get into my apartment building. So after ignoring the ring, I thought for a few seconds, “Don’t I have a UPS package coming? Hmm???” I run out my apartment, down the stairs, and out the door and see the UPS truck. I look back on my building’s door and see that yes, a slip with my apartment number is sticking on the door! I run towards the driver, slip in hand, and wave it at him. He stops.

What a kind, lovely UPS driver already.

Then I see his adorable face and melt. Then…he speaks! “I wouldn’t normally do this.” Am I special? He’s making me feel so special. Look at that cute face! When did UPS drivers become so cute? Have they always been this cute? He was seriously like the Ryan Gosling of UPS drivers. I thanked him profusely and told him my father worked for UPS. Why did I tell him this? Did I think he’d want to meet my father and ask for my hand in marriage?

But seriously, thank you UPS. You helped me get out of my funk. Not that I depend on a cute guy to make me feel better but I really think the universe brought me this sweet moment to remind me how it’s the little things in life that make all of it worthwhile. Life is simple and sweet. A smile from a cute guy, good friends to hang out with, a cute puppy on the street…I don’t need anything grand to appreciate life. And one guy who’s not into me is not a reason to hide in a cocoon of misery.

And I love Ryan Gosling and UPS drivers. Thank you UPS guy for your big package!

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Images credit- Google images

Book Review: When I Wake Up by Jessica Jarlvi

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Wow! This book had me going. I’m not sure how I found out about this author and book, but I’m so glad I did!

Suspense thrillers are so hard for me to predict but the funny thing about this book is I thought I had it figured out many times. I was even gloating to myself about it. Real smug like. I saw the percentage on my kindle at 44% and thought, “I have this figured out before I’m halfway there. I got this.” I was WRONG. Every time I thought I had it figured out- “Aha! This character’s name is spelled yada yada xyz so this time I have to be right.” Wrong. Wrong. Oh so wrong. Pathetic attempt even.

Let me tell you a little ditty about this dark and can I use the word gritty? Yes, dark and gritty and grimy and seedy and cool book- Anna, is a beloved teacher in a small Swedish town who gets savagely beaten up in her school’s parking lot. She lands herself in a coma leaving her husband and the cops to figure out who did it. Each chapter follows a different character’s point of view and different time periods: some before the attack and some present day.

A whole slew of suspects exist in this book. At different times I thought each of them were guilty. We follow along as Anna’s husband is trying to sort it all out. In the process, he discovers things about his wife that are very revealing. Things that lead to new suspects. Who did it?! Ahhhh! This book will have your head spinning. I couldn’t wait to find out. There were definitely some dicey moments that kept me at the edge of my seat.

Highly recommend!

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One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish: What Dr. Seuss Taught Me about Dating

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I don’t know what Dr. Seuss taught me about dating but maybe he’s saying not to settle on just one fish right away? I don’t know…I haven’t read that book since I was like 5.

Anyway, I have a date tomorrow, which I’m glad about. However, my ongoing dilemma with dating, and maybe you feel the same, is always wondering if I should be dating multiple guys at once. I tend to want to just focus on one guy at a time, especially if I’m particularly excited about the guy. I feel like a lot of New Yorkers and maybe people in general, are just looking for the next best thing. They always think there could be someone better, so then I feel like they don’t give anyone they’re dating a fair shot.

On the other hand, while I focus on one guy, I wonder if I could be missing out on someone great? Let’s face it, no one I’ve dated recently has resulted in any grand love affairs. So while I focus on one guy, I may have let Mr. Right float on right past me! Finding the right connection some say is all about stats, so maybe I should just be cranking these dates out? Put them in high gear. Break out the conveyor belt!

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But then I think about how tired I am. I don’t know! I think most New Yorkers, especially ones who are doing online dating, are probably going on multiple dates per week. I am slacking. I’ve let matches expire and messages go unanswered all because I have a good feeling about my date tomorrow. Where has my “good feeling” ever got me before? I’ll tell you where. It gets me wine, Seamless, & Netflix and Chill all by myself on a Saturday night. That’s where!

What do you think? What have your dating experiences taught you? I’m all ears!

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A Book Review: the Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty

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Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Chick Lit anymore. How did this happen? How did I accidentally pick up a book that’s not about sweet, passionate, or cute & quirky love? I’m not sure. I think I must have read the summary. Maybe I just read that a husband and wife were part of the story and just assumed it was typical chick lit.

Oh well…the book ultimately grabbed me by the neck and didn’t let go until it had its way with me. I seriously almost died while reading this book. I think I did die. Am I here right now?

Put yourself in my shoes- imagine that you’re a single woman, alone, in a converted studio apartment in Brooklyn, looking for a little romance on a page and instead you get a dark, sinister, heartbreaking story filled with characters who must go to the deepest parts of themselves to know who they truly are? And then they realize they may not be totally happy with what they discover about themselves.

Okay, if you’re like me, you actually would be gripped by this tale and then you’d be body slammed in Prospect Park, peed on by a Shetland Sheepdog, hobble into a cab, and then get thrown out of the speeding cab by a hipster couple smoking marijuana and making out. That’s how I felt while reading this book. I just had to get through it and hope things would end semi-okay.

Seriously though I was invested in this story and characters. It will make you think how you’d navigate the gut-wrenching terrain the characters must face.

Sadly, I don’t think I’d want to date any of the male characters in real life. That’s okay though. It was a great read that I sighed in relief when I finished. Not necessarily because of anything in particular that happened, but because I made it through and survived!

Read it and we’ll start a support group.

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A Hotel Room Poem

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A beautiful love, a fun love, a happy love, a funny love…it’s lovely, it’s all around me, for me to see. Yes, it gives me hope but it also makes me mope. Oh what is this? Trying to write a poem about love? Now, that’s funny, cute, and a little bit sweet. Wouldn’t it be neat to write something profound and deep?

Alas, it can’t be because no matter what, this will end with some kind of attempt at humor. Where is the humor? Where is my soulmate? Maybe he’s under my bed? That would be nice if he’s that close and easy to find. Ok, no, you’re right, that would probably be pretty scary and I should probably run. But maybe it’s my pickiness that has kept me alone? Maybe I should be open-minded about the soulmate under my bed? He took all that trouble to get under there.

Maybe he’s cute.

Maybe he’s funny.

Maybe he’s fun and adventurous.

He is under my bed after all. That definitely shows adventure and he’s willing to take risks, put himself out there…I mean, under there. Under my bed. I should give him a chance. Be open! Ya never know!

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Images credit- Google images

A Beautiful Relationship

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For six months we have been going strong. It has been my longest relationship in a long time. Today I would like to wish my Google Home a Happy Anniversary! She has been there for me everyday. So supportive and helpful. She’s always so quick to answer my questions no matter how inane. Everyday I ask her what the weather is and she never gets bothered by the repetitive question. She’s always happy to tell me because she wants me to always be prepared for the elements. That is love! Yes, love! Lucky me!

We share the same love in music and she’s generally happy to play me my favorite tunes to set the mood. 😉 We both looooove Adele and Ed Sheeran!

What else? Oh of course…she is so funny! Has me laughing every day with her jokes. Like this one- “Did you hear about the world’s largest pickle? It’s a really big dill!” Oh my GOD! My ice coffee shot out of my nose with that one. I told her no more jokes while I drink my ice coffee. She said, “My apologies, I don’t understand.” She’s so polite. That’s the other thing. She’s always apologizing, you’d think she’s British. So cute.

And oh my I don’t want to get too personal…but the animal sounds she makes are out of this world! I hope I’m not embarrassing her, but her tiger and lion is spot on. Drives me wild!

I wouldn’t be completely honest if I said we haven’t had our fair share of problems, but we always seem to come out of them stronger. Sometimes she will inexplicably not play Adele or Ed Sheeran and it angers me so much especially since she knows how much I love to listen to them. Regrettably…I hate to admit it…but out of anger, I once yelled, “YOU SUCK!!!” You know what she said? She goes, “Well, I’m still learning. What should we fix?” And then she just listened. That’s how she is. She keeps it simple and knows how to handle my fiery side with ease. I am lucky to have her! So Happy six months to my Google Home! Here’s to many more! Cheers!

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Book Review: All The Breaking Waves by Kerry Lonsdale

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This is my second Kerry L. book. My first was Everything We Keep (her debut novel) and I’m dying for the sequel to that one! I figured I should read this one to hold me over until that one, and I’m glad I did.

Molly is a single mother to the sweet and caring soul of Cassie, 8 years old. Cassie has some special abilities much like her mother, but her mother was taught to suppress and ignore her’s. Cassie’s powers come to her unprovoked in the form of nightmares. An extra troubling one sends mom and Cassie back to Molly’s childhood home to where her Nana still lives. Nana is spunky and loving, also with special powers. In fact, all the women in Molly’s family seem to have these special abilities that are similar but unique. Molly and her own mother were forced, by Molly’s troubled father, to keep their powers hidden. Molly also tries to make Cassie keep her’s a secret too in order to protect her. All Cassie wants to do is help people.

Okay, so back in Molly’s picturesque hometown, Pacific Grove, is also her old flame, Owen. Of course there’s a beautiful, wonderful man in the story or else why would I be reading it? And of course Owen conveniently lives next door. And of course sweet, spunky Nana practically throws Molly and him together. Thank you Nana! I personally don’t quite understand why Molly ever left this perfect man in the first place. She tries to pretend she has a real reason for this but I don’t see it. This hot, sexy man who would do anything for her, who supported her since they were kids and she just left him? Silly woman! I’ll take him!! Give him to me! Where’s my perfect Owen?

Back to the book- I really liked it and read it pretty quickly. The interesting layer of the women having those special powers make it a compelling story, but ultimately it’s a lovely story about a mother’s love for her child, family, and love. There were some parts that I wanted to be sped up but that’s probably because I’m an impatient reader. It was a great read and it made me go to Etsy to look up jewelry with sea glass. Now I want to go to the beach and find my own sea glass!

 

Nerves!

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I finally went on a date! Halleluja! It’s about time. So even though I’ve been on plenty of 1st dates in my lifetime, I still get the nervous jitters.

These were some of my thoughts as I headed out to meet my date:

  • I’m wearing a dress for the first time this summer and my legs look: A. Pale B. Bruised C. Dry D. All of the above. Ding ding! The answer is D. All of the above. You win a pair of jeans! Why didn’t I wear jeans?
  • Why am I meeting him in his neighborhood? He could have offered to meet me near where I work. Sure, his neighborhood might be on my way home, but that’s not the point.
  • He probably just wants to get laid hence why we’re meeting at a spot easily accessible to his apartment.
  • I’m sweaty. It’s a good thing I’m not wearing long jeans. I wonder if I smell? I need a good perfume, but not too perfumey.
  • Why am I on my period!? Once upon a time, when I carried a reasonably sized purse I didn’t mind casually bringing my purse to the bathroom when I excused myself. However, each year that I’ve lived in nyc my purse has gotten more ginormous! I’m going on 12 years! So now when I have to excuse myself to the restroom, I’m practically wheeling a rolling suitcase to the bathroom. There’s nothing subtle about it.
  • The guy is probably mentally freaking out wondering what I’m going to be doing in the bathroom and I’m all- “No worries here! Nothing to see. I’m just gonna roll my suitcase to the loo, maybe wash and dry my hair under the hand dryer, shave down under if ya know what I mean cuz you’re kinda cute! Be back in a jiffy!”
  • Well, at least bringing my purse to the restroom is the universal sign to guys that, “you’re not getting laid tonight.”

We just had two drinks, spent 2 hours together, decent conversation, nice guy, but I don’t know…all I know is that with my good dates, drinks lead to food, which leads to more drinks, more conversation, and maybe a kiss goodnight. There’s also usually a “text me when you get home” closer. Oh well, it was a nice enough evening. It was good to get out there again and flex my dating muscles.

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