Thank You UPS


I finally went out on a date this past Tuesday. I was looking forward to it, since after all of my texting with the guy, I had a good feeling. Ugh. Every time I get a “good feeling” things don’t pan out. Well, that was the case this time. I liked him, would have gone out again, but there’s not going to be a second date. That’s my dating life.

I was feeling pretty crappy and down in the dumps this week. I thought about this blog- Searching for Humor- and thought, “How the hell will I find the humor in this? This sucks. Nothing funny about it.” My blog is dead. Fun while it lasted. How many first dates can one person go on? Lately, my dating life has become a string of first dates. It’s so frustrating! I’m not sure why. Is it because I’m getting older? 38…ouch. Maybe I’m more unsure of myself lately, I don’t know. So yeah, it’s been a shitty week.

All week I’ve had to suck it up, wake up and go to work. However, since it’s Saturday, this morning I stayed in bed a little longer, hiding under the shield of my blankets, reveling in the chance to ruminate in it.

Finally I forced myself up and as I was ready to walk out my door, I put my headphones on, pressed play on goddamn Ed Sheeran’s “Photograph.” The song of course made me ruminate some more.

“Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul

And it’s the only thing that I know, know I swear it will get easier…”

Fuck you Ed Sheeran! I’m alone, I’m old, and I don’t even have any fucking cats. It’s not getting easier. I’m leaning up against my wall, eyes closed listening to Ed Sheeran thinking about how much my life sucks, having an introspective moment with fucking Ed Sheeran when my buzzer goes off. Geez! I was having a moment. It was helping!

Well, like any paranoid New Yorker, I did not buzz in whoever was at my door. I’m no fool. I knew it was probably some mass murderer or arsonist trying to get into my apartment building. So after ignoring the ring, I thought for a few seconds, “Don’t I have a UPS package coming? Hmm???” I run out my apartment, down the stairs, and out the door and see the UPS truck. I look back on my building’s door and see that yes, a slip with my apartment number is sticking on the door! I run towards the driver, slip in hand, and wave it at him. He stops.

What a kind, lovely UPS driver already.

Then I see his adorable face and melt. Then…he speaks! “I wouldn’t normally do this.” Am I special? He’s making me feel so special. Look at that cute face! When did UPS drivers become so cute? Have they always been this cute? He was seriously like the Ryan Gosling of UPS drivers. I thanked him profusely and told him my father worked for UPS. Why did I tell him this? Did I think he’d want to meet my father and ask for my hand in marriage?

But seriously, thank you UPS. You helped me get out of my funk. Not that I depend on a cute guy to make me feel better but I really think the universe brought me this sweet moment to remind me how it’s the little things in life that make all of it worthwhile. Life is simple and sweet. A smile from a cute guy, good friends to hang out with, a cute puppy on the street…I don’t need anything grand to appreciate life. And one guy who’s not into me is not a reason to hide in a cocoon of misery.

And I love Ryan Gosling and UPS drivers. Thank you UPS guy for your big package!

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Images credit- Google images

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish: What Dr. Seuss Taught Me about Dating


I don’t know what Dr. Seuss taught me about dating but maybe he’s saying not to settle on just one fish right away? I don’t know…I haven’t read that book since I was like 5.

Anyway, I have a date tomorrow, which I’m glad about. However, my ongoing dilemma with dating, and maybe you feel the same, is always wondering if I should be dating multiple guys at once. I tend to want to just focus on one guy at a time, especially if I’m particularly excited about the guy. I feel like a lot of New Yorkers and maybe people in general, are just looking for the next best thing. They always think there could be someone better, so then I feel like they don’t give anyone they’re dating a fair shot.

On the other hand, while I focus on one guy, I wonder if I could be missing out on someone great? Let’s face it, no one I’ve dated recently has resulted in any grand love affairs. So while I focus on one guy, I may have let Mr. Right float on right past me! Finding the right connection some say is all about stats, so maybe I should just be cranking these dates out? Put them in high gear. Break out the conveyor belt!


But then I think about how tired I am. I don’t know! I think most New Yorkers, especially ones who are doing online dating, are probably going on multiple dates per week. I am slacking. I’ve let matches expire and messages go unanswered all because I have a good feeling about my date tomorrow. Where has my “good feeling” ever got me before? I’ll tell you where. It gets me wine, Seamless, & Netflix and Chill all by myself on a Saturday night. That’s where!

What do you think? What have your dating experiences taught you? I’m all ears!

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I finally went on a date! Halleluja! It’s about time. So even though I’ve been on plenty of 1st dates in my lifetime, I still get the nervous jitters.

These were some of my thoughts as I headed out to meet my date:

  • I’m wearing a dress for the first time this summer and my legs look: A. Pale B. Bruised C. Dry D. All of the above. Ding ding! The answer is D. All of the above. You win a pair of jeans! Why didn’t I wear jeans?
  • Why am I meeting him in his neighborhood? He could have offered to meet me near where I work. Sure, his neighborhood might be on my way home, but that’s not the point.
  • He probably just wants to get laid hence why we’re meeting at a spot easily accessible to his apartment.
  • I’m sweaty. It’s a good thing I’m not wearing long jeans. I wonder if I smell? I need a good perfume, but not too perfumey.
  • Why am I on my period!? Once upon a time, when I carried a reasonably sized purse I didn’t mind casually bringing my purse to the bathroom when I excused myself. However, each year that I’ve lived in nyc my purse has gotten more ginormous! I’m going on 12 years! So now when I have to excuse myself to the restroom, I’m practically wheeling a rolling suitcase to the bathroom. There’s nothing subtle about it.
  • The guy is probably mentally freaking out wondering what I’m going to be doing in the bathroom and I’m all- “No worries here! Nothing to see. I’m just gonna roll my suitcase to the loo, maybe wash and dry my hair under the hand dryer, shave down under if ya know what I mean cuz you’re kinda cute! Be back in a jiffy!”
  • Well, at least bringing my purse to the restroom is the universal sign to guys that, “you’re not getting laid tonight.”

We just had two drinks, spent 2 hours together, decent conversation, nice guy, but I don’t know…all I know is that with my good dates, drinks lead to food, which leads to more drinks, more conversation, and maybe a kiss goodnight. There’s also usually a “text me when you get home” closer. Oh well, it was a nice enough evening. It was good to get out there again and flex my dating muscles.


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Netflix and Chill (by myself)


#Worstdatingblogever! I haven’t been on one date yet. I think I’m texting with a new guy, but I’m not so sure. I get more texts from Seamless.

Should I just forget it all and finally get a cat? I was walking in my neighborhood last night and a cute little kitten was almost mine! Right outside a bodega was this little kitty and just when I had thoughts of scooping him up, this guy who was next to him beat me to it. I guess it was his kitten? Bodega kitten?

Oh well…maybe it’s a sign that I don’t have to go down that path just yet. Not that there’s anything wrong with having a cat when you’re a single woman in your late thirties. One day I will confidently get one and it won’t mean a thing besides having a sweet, perfect kitty to love. Who needs a man!? Kidding. I prefer dogs anyways.

Let me just say that I am glad I’m not on a Netflix and chill 3rd date right now. I respect tv too much to use it as some ruse for some lurid ulterior motive. If a guy ever used Game of Thrones as a cover to get laid, I’d punch him in the face and get out of there. I can’t imagine anyone being that low though. GOT is a great show.

I still need to try out my idea of going out to places alone to see if I can meet someone the old fashioned way, in person. The idea is that if I’m on my own, I’ll be more approachable. I think I will go to a museum tomorrow. We shall see!

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the Fosbury Flop

Do you know what the Fosbury flop is? I didn’t either until I googled after a random Bumble guy compared matching with me to it. No really, he wrote: “Lol it’s slim pickings out there and you just fosbury flopped over a very low bar.” Seriously!? I don’t think I’ve ever been so insulted. Well, I probably have, but luckily I have a bad memory.

Was he trying to be funny? Was I supposed to swipe back at him with something equally insulting, but “funny?” No, I think he’s just probably a jerk so moving on is what I will do! Back to swiping! Fun, fun and not demeaning at all. Dating is so fun.

Dating is all about stats as I was told by a guy I went out on one date with. So I just have to keep at it. Ugh.