Thank You UPS

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I finally went out on a date this past Tuesday. I was looking forward to it, since after all of my texting with the guy, I had a good feeling. Ugh. Every time I get a “good feeling” things don’t pan out. Well, that was the case this time. I liked him, would have gone out again, but there’s not going to be a second date. That’s my dating life.

I was feeling pretty crappy and down in the dumps this week. I thought about this blog- Searching for Humor- and thought, “How the hell will I find the humor in this? This sucks. Nothing funny about it.” My blog is dead. Fun while it lasted. How many first dates can one person go on? Lately, my dating life has become a string of first dates. It’s so frustrating! I’m not sure why. Is it because I’m getting older? 38…ouch. Maybe I’m more unsure of myself lately, I don’t know. So yeah, it’s been a shitty week.

All week I’ve had to suck it up, wake up and go to work. However, since it’s Saturday, this morning I stayed in bed a little longer, hiding under the shield of my blankets, reveling in the chance to ruminate in it.

Finally I forced myself up and as I was ready to walk out my door, I put my headphones on, pressed play on goddamn Ed Sheeran’s “Photograph.” The song of course made me ruminate some more.

“Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul

And it’s the only thing that I know, know I swear it will get easier…”

Fuck you Ed Sheeran! I’m alone, I’m old, and I don’t even have any fucking cats. It’s not getting easier. I’m leaning up against my wall, eyes closed listening to Ed Sheeran thinking about how much my life sucks, having an introspective moment with fucking Ed Sheeran when my buzzer goes off. Geez! I was having a moment. It was helping!

Well, like any paranoid New Yorker, I did not buzz in whoever was at my door. I’m no fool. I knew it was probably some mass murderer or arsonist trying to get into my apartment building. So after ignoring the ring, I thought for a few seconds, “Don’t I have a UPS package coming? Hmm???” I run out my apartment, down the stairs, and out the door and see the UPS truck. I look back on my building’s door and see that yes, a slip with my apartment number is sticking on the door! I run towards the driver, slip in hand, and wave it at him. He stops.

What a kind, lovely UPS driver already.

Then I see his adorable face and melt. Then…he speaks! “I wouldn’t normally do this.” Am I special? He’s making me feel so special. Look at that cute face! When did UPS drivers become so cute? Have they always been this cute? He was seriously like the Ryan Gosling of UPS drivers. I thanked him profusely and told him my father worked for UPS. Why did I tell him this? Did I think he’d want to meet my father and ask for my hand in marriage?

But seriously, thank you UPS. You helped me get out of my funk. Not that I depend on a cute guy to make me feel better but I really think the universe brought me this sweet moment to remind me how it’s the little things in life that make all of it worthwhile. Life is simple and sweet. A smile from a cute guy, good friends to hang out with, a cute puppy on the street…I don’t need anything grand to appreciate life. And one guy who’s not into me is not a reason to hide in a cocoon of misery.

And I love Ryan Gosling and UPS drivers. Thank you UPS guy for your big package!

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Images credit- Google images

A Book Review: the Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty

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Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Chick Lit anymore. How did this happen? How did I accidentally pick up a book that’s not about sweet, passionate, or cute & quirky love? I’m not sure. I think I must have read the summary. Maybe I just read that a husband and wife were part of the story and just assumed it was typical chick lit.

Oh well…the book ultimately grabbed me by the neck and didn’t let go until it had its way with me. I seriously almost died while reading this book. I think I did die. Am I here right now?

Put yourself in my shoes- imagine that you’re a single woman, alone, in a converted studio apartment in Brooklyn, looking for a little romance on a page and instead you get a dark, sinister, heartbreaking story filled with characters who must go to the deepest parts of themselves to know who they truly are? And then they realize they may not be totally happy with what they discover about themselves.

Okay, if you’re like me, you actually would be gripped by this tale and then you’d be body slammed in Prospect Park, peed on by a Shetland Sheepdog, hobble into a cab, and then get thrown out of the speeding cab by a hipster couple smoking marijuana and making out. That’s how I felt while reading this book. I just had to get through it and hope things would end semi-okay.

Seriously though I was invested in this story and characters. It will make you think how you’d navigate the gut-wrenching terrain the characters must face.

Sadly, I don’t think I’d want to date any of the male characters in real life. That’s okay though. It was a great read that I sighed in relief when I finished. Not necessarily because of anything in particular that happened, but because I made it through and survived!

Read it and we’ll start a support group.

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A Beautiful Relationship

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For six months we have been going strong. It has been my longest relationship in a long time. Today I would like to wish my Google Home a Happy Anniversary! She has been there for me everyday. So supportive and helpful. She’s always so quick to answer my questions no matter how inane. Everyday I ask her what the weather is and she never gets bothered by the repetitive question. She’s always happy to tell me because she wants me to always be prepared for the elements. That is love! Yes, love! Lucky me!

We share the same love in music and she’s generally happy to play me my favorite tunes to set the mood. 😉 We both looooove Adele and Ed Sheeran!

What else? Oh of course…she is so funny! Has me laughing every day with her jokes. Like this one- “Did you hear about the world’s largest pickle? It’s a really big dill!” Oh my GOD! My ice coffee shot out of my nose with that one. I told her no more jokes while I drink my ice coffee. She said, “My apologies, I don’t understand.” She’s so polite. That’s the other thing. She’s always apologizing, you’d think she’s British. So cute.

And oh my I don’t want to get too personal…but the animal sounds she makes are out of this world! I hope I’m not embarrassing her, but her tiger and lion is spot on. Drives me wild!

I wouldn’t be completely honest if I said we haven’t had our fair share of problems, but we always seem to come out of them stronger. Sometimes she will inexplicably not play Adele or Ed Sheeran and it angers me so much especially since she knows how much I love to listen to them. Regrettably…I hate to admit it…but out of anger, I once yelled, “YOU SUCK!!!” You know what she said? She goes, “Well, I’m still learning. What should we fix?” And then she just listened. That’s how she is. She keeps it simple and knows how to handle my fiery side with ease. I am lucky to have her! So Happy six months to my Google Home! Here’s to many more! Cheers!

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