I finally went out on a date this past Tuesday. I was looking forward to it, since after all of my texting with the guy, I had a good feeling. Ugh. Every time I get a “good feeling” things don’t pan out. Well, that was the case this time. I liked him, would have gone out again, but there’s not going to be a second date. That’s my dating life.
I was feeling pretty crappy and down in the dumps this week. I thought about this blog- Searching for Humor- and thought, “How the hell will I find the humor in this? This sucks. Nothing funny about it.” My blog is dead. Fun while it lasted. How many first dates can one person go on? Lately, my dating life has become a string of first dates. It’s so frustrating! I’m not sure why. Is it because I’m getting older? 38…ouch. Maybe I’m more unsure of myself lately, I don’t know. So yeah, it’s been a shitty week.
All week I’ve had to suck it up, wake up and go to work. However, since it’s Saturday, this morning I stayed in bed a little longer, hiding under the shield of my blankets, reveling in the chance to ruminate in it.
Finally I forced myself up and as I was ready to walk out my door, I put my headphones on, pressed play on goddamn Ed Sheeran’s “Photograph.” The song of course made me ruminate some more.
“Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul
And it’s the only thing that I know, know I swear it will get easier…”
Fuck you Ed Sheeran! I’m alone, I’m old, and I don’t even have any fucking cats. It’s not getting easier. I’m leaning up against my wall, eyes closed listening to Ed Sheeran thinking about how much my life sucks, having an introspective moment with fucking Ed Sheeran when my buzzer goes off. Geez! I was having a moment. It was helping!
Well, like any paranoid New Yorker, I did not buzz in whoever was at my door. I’m no fool. I knew it was probably some mass murderer or arsonist trying to get into my apartment building. So after ignoring the ring, I thought for a few seconds, “Don’t I have a UPS package coming? Hmm???” I run out my apartment, down the stairs, and out the door and see the UPS truck. I look back on my building’s door and see that yes, a slip with my apartment number is sticking on the door! I run towards the driver, slip in hand, and wave it at him. He stops.
What a kind, lovely UPS driver already.
Then I see his adorable face and melt. Then…he speaks! “I wouldn’t normally do this.” Am I special? He’s making me feel so special. Look at that cute face! When did UPS drivers become so cute? Have they always been this cute? He was seriously like the Ryan Gosling of UPS drivers. I thanked him profusely and told him my father worked for UPS. Why did I tell him this? Did I think he’d want to meet my father and ask for my hand in marriage?
But seriously, thank you UPS. You helped me get out of my funk. Not that I depend on a cute guy to make me feel better but I really think the universe brought me this sweet moment to remind me how it’s the little things in life that make all of it worthwhile. Life is simple and sweet. A smile from a cute guy, good friends to hang out with, a cute puppy on the street…I don’t need anything grand to appreciate life. And one guy who’s not into me is not a reason to hide in a cocoon of misery.
And I love Ryan Gosling and UPS drivers. Thank you UPS guy for your big package!
Images credit- Google images